I have been feeling out of sorts for some time but only just registering it because it is manifesting itself physically. Damn trying to dampen thoughts and feelings on a soul level! I always tell my clients that these will emerge regardless if they try to repress them. Why do we tend not to take our own advice though?! Feeling a general lack of motivation, I understand that this is just a delayed reaction to the event I alluded to in an earlier post - it’s all linked back to a toxic working environment (not my coaching business I hasten to add). Identifying what you can be in control of and what you need to let go of is important in these situations. As soon as you establish this, it will lose its grip and power over you. 

I choose to engage in self-care and motivate myself to do the things that I know are good for me; rising early at 0500 to enjoy a ‘Miracle Morning’, eating healthily, walking my dog and going to the gym. Yet this hasn’t been happening lately so I am being gentle with myself and allowing myself to binge on a Netflix series instead. 

This morning I had an urge to pull my deck of tarot cards and was drawn to two…  

They really resonated with me and felt appropriate for my situation. 

The first card ‘Imrama’ asks “Where are you being called to journey to?” 

I have been seeing a counsellor as it is offered for free through work as often we need to offload so we don’t suffer with transference from listening to others problems. During my sessions there has been a lot of regression to childhood and family of origin work, which is looking at family dynamics and how my role sits within this. It is super interesting and after doing an Ecomap with my counsellor (it’s essentially a family tree), I feel an urge to research this properly. We can learn so much from our ancestors, yet we don’t often realise how much of an influence they have had on us, even if we never met them and they did not play an explicit part in our life. Insight into understanding how you think and what makes you tick is so important to connect with yourself on a soul level. I remember visiting the psychic that helped locate the bodies of Soham murder victims, Holly and Jessica and during that first meeting, he intook a breath and told me that I am an “old soul” and that I have lived many lives before and that this is my last life. This finally explained the frequent episodes of deja-vu and the confusion over having memories I feel don’t belong to me (I always wondered whether they had been dreams that stayed with me but I secretly thought otherwise). 

The second card that I pulled was ‘Starseed’ which asks “What lights you up?” This fits perfectly with identifying how I can improve my self-care and ultimately, my wellbeing. Ironically I love a slow pace of life and quite traditional past-times such as knitting, walks in nature collecting conkers and acorns or fruit picking, lighting salt lamps, having hot baths with scented candles, reading and spending time around animals. 

Last year I really ramped up my understanding of the law of attraction so I know the importance of connecting with yourself on a much deeper level than what is presented at surface level in society (I teach this to my clients). The only way you can do this is by slowing down, right down. I am still somewhat in the closet when it comes to sharing my thoughts on spirituality because I am still learning, though I know we learn for life. Getting into tarot card reading and becoming au fait with the power of healing crystals is helping me on this journey and I am becoming more at ease with placing my faith in my intuition to guide me towards my true path and calling. I realise the unease in me is because something has stirred that is directing me and initially it will feel unnerving and uncomfortable. However, acknowledging that this is normal when we are unsettled helps to reframe this and embrace the uncertainty. 

How do you connect with yourself on a soul level? Do you exercise your intuition regularly? Do you trust your inner guide?